Tim Tebow's Train Crashes to a Final Wreck

Top: Patriots' defenders surround Tebow leaving him unable to break free to pick up a first down. Below: Tim walks away with head down after the 45-10 thrashing. This is it for the Tebow Train, at least for another year!

Last week, after the Denver Broncos' "miracle" worker QB Tim Tebow fired an overtime TD pass to Demaryus Thomas to beat a semi-crippled Pittsburgh Steelers team, all the Tebow groupies came out in force as predicted. The NFL Channel dominated with 88% of its special program time devoted to all things Tebow, including a "Tim Tebow special" on the quarterback's success this year. ESPN wasn't far behind and the newspapers must have racked up over 2 million inches in Tebow column space.

At The Washington Post, none other than former senior editor Sally Quinn actually wrote a fairly serious exploration of the possibility that Tebow might be "the Second Coming of Christ". After all, if he could engineer such marvelous game endings, plus do all his charitable work, perhaps he was Jesus Christ but now reincarnated in the form of an NFL football quarterback.

Not far behind, Michael Medved penned in a Wall Street Journal op-ed yesterday: 'The Secrets of Tebow Hatred', castigating all those churlish imps who would dare rain on the Great One's parade while a league "stocked with millionaire wife beaters and dog killers" received little or no opprobrium. Medved ultimately asks: "So why should Tim Tebow draw more resentment than other religious athletes?" and concludes "he's too apparently flawless to draw much sympathy from the uninitiated."

Meanwhile, a small stable of truly elite NFL quarterbacks (e.g. Drew Brees, Aaron Rodgers, Tom Brady, Eli Manning) waiting in the wings to play in this weekend's playoff games - had to listen and watch as endless hour after hour of prime broadcast time was devoted to Tim Tebow. Ultimately, one surmises that before the New England Patriots game with the Broncos last night, several thousand emails or tweets landed in NE QB Tom Brady's devices imploring him: "Please, Tom! Put an end to the hype behind this m***f*cker!" And so he did!

Tossing 6 - count them SIX - touchdown passes before the game was four minutes into the second half, tying an NFL playoff record, Brady and his Patriots routed the forlorn Broncos 45-10.The major ass-whipping, accompanied by hoots from the New England crowd and mocking chants of "Tebow! Te-BOE!" put a gnarly finish on the game's ending while dashing the hopes of the Tebow faithful that another miracle was yet in the works and he'd somehow pull one out with his "Lord and Savior" on his side. And no, to a Jesuit opinionator (Fr. J. Martin) in yesterday's WSJ, even if the Tebow led Broncs had somehow won, it wouldn't have "decimated atheism in the Rocky Mountain region". It merely would have meant the Broncos and Tebow had more luck or Zebra's calls on their side than anyone might have imagined!

In other words, the end had an absolute finality to it that, mercifully, should finally quell the continual jabber about Tim Tebow and his ways while giving short shrift to so many superior QBs. But what did one behold when the Broncos were on offense? Only pathos and chaos! They began - even after winning the coin toss- by "deferring", which was equivalent to allowing NE to spot them 7 pts, which is what happend. Brady basically said: "Oh yeah? You're going to defer? Okay, we will just go and take a seven point lead!" Which they did.

Over most of the Broncos' possessions, meanwhile, they kept running a foolish option play which the Patriot defenders always sniffed out and halted - usually for negative yards. Meanwhile, by the middle of the third quarter, behind by 35-7, the Broncos had racked up 13 negative plays (that is, plays for negative yardage) with many made by Tebow himself. Unlike last week, when he played with his WRs like Eddie Royal and Demaryus Thomas against a feeble secondary - with outstanding Ryan Clark missing from action- NE was whole and they didn't miss a beat. None of the Broncos receivers were able to get open enough to make big plays. Tears meanwhile filled bars and sports pubs from Pueblo all the way to Denver on the I25.

Is the land now filled with inveterate, cynical "Tebow haters"? Not really. The fact is most of us don't "hate" Tim Tebow. Hell, we hardly know him personally. What we hate is the media hype and schmaltz surrounding him and the unthinking nature of his fans and groupies who appear to conflate occasional luck on the football field with some type of divine intervention or "miracle" - when a small dose of critical thought ought to lead them to ask 'Why this time and not next time?'

We also detest how the evangelical whackos in the country have exploited Tebow to their own ends to push their agendas. Such as Colorado Springs -based 'Focus on the Family' which featured a "John 3:16" ad in the midst of last night's game. Have they no shame? Has Tebow no shame for permitting himself to be used to further others' agendas? The point is what we detest is not Tebow personally but allowing himself to be used for such blatant hypocritical posturing and nonsense, even as his many fans dote on him but do so while lacking any balance or proportion or judgment. This is what has driven many of us literally nuts, and why we hoped someone would finally put a lid on it.

Fortunately, Tom Brady did last night, and in stunning fashion. Yes, mayhap Tim will be resurrected next year. But at least for about eight months we shall hear no more about his "magical plays", his special whatever it is, or "miracles" that "bind the faithful".

All genuine miracle workers, alas, need them to keep occurring in order to be marked real...and they can't fail when the biggest obstacles emerge (such as 45-10 leads). Unfortunately for Tim, his miracle train crashed last night -- running into a determined New England team itself committed to ending the vacuous nonsense and hype....at least for another year!

AAAAARGH! NOT TEBOW ...AGAIN!

Tebow, after the game, jacked up like a rat on crack. Let him enjoy it because this time next week he will be crying into his good Book!


Well, I guess I spoke- wrote too soon. I predicted an end to "Tebow Mania" and the unpatented "miracles" of Mr. God Boy Tim Tebow, but seems I was premature, e.g.

http://brane-space.blogspot.com/2012/01/gratifying-end-to-tebow-mania.html

But seems that like a vampire that won't die, even after "Igor" drives a stake into him for the nth time, Tebow Mania has once again been resurrected, thanks to the Broncos unlikely victory over the hard-nosed Pittsburgh Steelers yesterday, 29-23 with the winning TD coming in overtime on an 80 yard pass play from Tebow to Demaryus Thomas. Wild doesn’t begin to describe it. The play took 11 seconds and was the quickest ending to an overtime in NFL history.

The Steeler defender who got burned, Ike Taylor, is inconsolable...as well as he should be along with the other corner and safeties. They were caught by surprise!

Thomas hauled in a high play-action pass at the Denver 38, stiff-armed Ike Taylor, and then outraced Ryan Mundy to the end zone. Tebow, who looked as startled as everyone else, chased down Thomas and knelt on one knee - a gesture known far and wide these days as Tebowing. Then he pounded a fist in triumph and took a victory lap.

According to Tim Tebow:

“When I saw him scoring, first of all, I just thought, 'Thank you, Lord,’ Then, I was running pretty fast, chasing him - like I can catch up to D.T! Then I just jumped into the stands, first time I’ve done that. That was fun. Then, got on a knee and thanked the Lord again and tried to celebrate with my teammates and the fans.’’

But Tim, why didn't you hold your same Lord to account for all those losses? This is the question many of us want you to answer! Shouldn't you shun the Lord in a loss if you "praise" him for a win? If you praise him for loss or win, then what does it matter if you win or lose? And WHY should the "Lord" care two mites?

Prodded by John Elway to let the ball fly and pull the trigger , Tebow acted as if the last three weeks never happened, lifting the Broncos to their first playoff win in six years. And, unlike Elway, who lost his first postseason start - to the Steelers at home in 1984 - Tebow is 1-0 in the playoffs. Is this a miracle? Hell no!

This was no "miracle" but once again, the Broncos by pure happenstance - meeting a team with too many serious injuries to compete - like they did earlier against Minnesota (Adrian Peterson the top RB out with an injury) and the Chicago Bears (QB Jay Cutler and Running back Matt Forte out with injuries).

The Steelers (12-5) lost because of being injury-depleted on both offense and defense! On critical defense they lost Brett Keisel and Casey Hampton during the game, key linemen. Another defensive tackle, Starks, was in and out of the game but mostly out. Ryan Clarke a top secondary man wasn't able to play because of having sickle cell anemia which worsens at high altitude (Denver is a mile high). On offense, Roethlisberger was gimpy from a high ankle sprain, top RB Rashard Mendenhall was out, and Center Pouncey was also not able to play. All bad omens and had I known all these injuries would materialize I'd never have forecast a Steeler blowout.

But, the Broncos (9-8) are now heading to New England for a second-round game against the top-seeded Patriots on Saturday night. They lost the earlier bout big time, and I forecast they will again.....Finally, finally putting an end to this Tebowing, Tebow time, Tebow Mania bullshit.

And if they DO win, by some remote freak chance, I will "Tebow" in my front yard for 10 minutes every morning until Superbowl Sunday! Oh, and take a photo of me doing it and post it!

A Gratifying End to "Tebow-Mania"

Miracle Boy Tim Tebow upended by Kansas City Chiefs' defenders this afternoon. Look for Tim and his Broncos to get stomped next week by the Steelers.


Despite the shellackings administered to the Tim Tebow-led Denver Broncos the past two weeks, by the New England Patriots and Buffalo Bills respectively, Tebow-prayer groupies, Jesus freaks, assorted holy rollers and their hangers-on were out in force today at Sports Authority Stadium at Mile High in Denver expecting another miracle. They firmly believed Tebow the Bible boy would lead them into the promised land of the playoffs for the first time in over a decade.

Denver sports writers, mainly Tebow groupies, were just as delirious with the likes of Woody Paige predicting a mini-blowout, and others (like Dave Krieger) predicting more modest victories. It appears none of these elite writers looked behind the numbers and possibilities to see a Tebow ambush by the Chiefs waiting in the wings. I did and it was based on pure logic. Two weeks ago the same Chiefs had defeated the previously unbeaten Green Bay Packers (now 15-1), by 19-14 by applying a fierce "man under" press coverage on defense (to keep Aaron Rodgers contained) while engineering a do enough offense with no turnovers.

I saw no reason why, if they could do such a number on the NFL's best team, they couldn't do the same on Tebow and the Broncos. As it turned out they did, 7-3, which sounds more like a baseball than a football score.

Though billed in Denver as the "Orton Bowl" - because for the first time it featured a previously -released quarterback (Kyle Orton, dumped by the Broncos) against his successor, it was actually much more subdued and merely became a showcase for the Broncos gaining the final divisional crown (AFC West) by virtue of nemesis Oakland losing at home to San Diego, 38-26. Had Oakland taken care of business, they'd have had the AFC West instead of the Broncos. In any case, Tebow and the Broncs gave new meaning to the oft-used term "backing into the playoffs". Because they sure haven't entered as any kind of conquerors....errrr. ...crusaders.

Given this, the Broncos and their holy roller QB won't last long against the Pittsburgh Steelers, 12-4, who will be their playoff opponent in Denver next week. I can promise you that Tebow will spend most of this time running - away from the mighty Steelers' Defense, including linebakcers James Harrison, and Troy Polamalu.

As for this game, the final line for Orton was 18 of 29 for 180 yards and a below-average 71.0 passer rating. But below average was considerably better than Tebow's final line: 6 of 22, 60 yards, 1 interception, 1 lost fumble and a 20.6 rating - lowest in the NFL in all games played today. Where was Tebow's deity when he most needed him? Maybe he had other things in the universe to attend to, who knows? But as usual, Tebow did a Tebow at the end and thanked 'his Lord and Savior',.....for what......I don't know. Maybe keeping him humble, or teaching him a lesson....not to let his ego overwhelm his earthly perspectives.

Tebow was just 3 of 8 in pass completions for 29 yards at the half. After three quarters, Tebow was 4 of 14 for 43 yards. The Broncos' offense failed to score a point by halftime. For the sixth time in 11 games, they failed to score more than 3 points by halftime.

Crippling the Broncos' offense in this seasonal rematch with the Chiefs was they lost two starters to injury early in the first half. Right guard Chris Kuper, the senior member of the offensive line, suffered a severe dislocation where his leg meets the ankle in the first quarter. He will not play in the playoffs.

Now, why did Tebow's "lord" allow that to occur, given he had to know - given his omniscience - the extent to which any success by Tim depended on them. The Broncos also lost fullback Spencer Larsen to a knee injury. Again, Tim, what's with your lord? Why let that happen to a stand up guy?

Tebow also lost a fumble at the Chiefs' 13 yard line that prevented kicker from attempting a short field goal, and then with barely two minutes to go and driving for a possibly winning score, Tebow was intercepted by the Chiefs.

How oh how could this have happened? Why did the miracles end?

These are questions for which Tim Tebow's followers want answers.

The simplest ones are there for the taking, or accepting: Tebow is NOT a God boy, he isn't "holy" and doesn't work miracles....and oh, football is just a game played by over-sized, bipedal primates on one remote planet in an ordinary spiral galaxy - one of hundreds of billions.

Maybe Tebow maniacs will finally get that next week after they're decimated by the unholy Pittsburgh Steelers while the latter's towel -waving fans (who follow their team everywhere) howl with derision and glee.

In the meantime we may be sure "Tebow mania" has finally, finally run its course....like a bad case of the flu!

Tebow Mania (Mercifully) Gets Sacked....for Now!

"Leave it to the Patriots to ruin things for everybody else.

Sports fans of America yesterday turned their eyes toward this stadium one mile above sea level, hoping to see another miracle; a burning bush, a football Fatima, perhaps 80,000 fans feasting on a few fishes and loaves.

No. There was no Tebow Time this time. Instead, we witnessed another routine execution by the brutal New England assassins who've ruled the AFC East in nine of the past eleven seasons.

Patriots 41, Broncos, 23. Praise the Lord and pass the humble pie!"

-Dan Shaughnessy - The Boston Globe


"A simplistic, throw-back offense isn't enough to exchange scores or keep pace against Patriots quarterback Tom Brady , a thoroughly 21st century man.

Sorry, Tim Tebow. Your time never arrived.

Tom Brady is not Caleb Hanie. Shocking the Bears is one thing.

But for the Broncos to stage a fourth-quarter comeback against New England, it would have required Tebow to possess more magic than Harry Potter.”

Mike Kiszla – Denver Post

And so, mercifully, the over-hyped fable of an insufferable, bible -quoting god boy working miracles at Sports Authority Stadium at Mile High in Denver has come to an end, at least for now. This is what I and many other "hardened cranks" (the description in a WSJ piece today, p. B10) have wanted from the moment it began. We KNEW Tebow was over-hyped, and just wanted the ever gullible, slap- happy, pie-eyed folk of America (most of whom don't know a cover 2 from a cover 1 defense) to see Tebow's frailities exposed - in a game against a really serious opponent. As opposed to a series of pretenders who: a) never made enough adjustments - especially on defense - at halftime, and b) always played idiotically (and too conservatively) at the end of the game just to run out the clock and sit on tiny leads, as opposed to aggressively adding more points and putting the game out of reach for any comeback "Tebow time". The Dolphins, Jets, and Bears all succumbed to this error, and paid. Then the rest of us paid, by having a mediocre QB transmogrified into some kind of wunderkind and hyped across the airwaves. (Except for Saturday Night Live where Tebow was spoofed by a Jesus sock puppet, telling him to cool it.)

Although Denver seized the early momentum in the game, the Broncos fumbled it away. Literally.

Three fumbles by the Broncos near their end of the field gave Brady all the edge he needed to rock what had appeared to be a granite-tough Denver defense against mediocre offenses.

Picking apart an outmanned Broncos' secondary filled with rookies, Brady completed 23 of 34 for 320 yards, two touchdowns and zero interceptions. And he had a 1-yard rushing touchdown, followed by a menacing spike, in the second quarter that put the Pats up, 24-16 after they had once trailed, 16-7.

At the point of that spike, Brady was heard to scream by many fans in the stadium:

"Take that! You Tebow Maniacs!"

I loved the 41-23 drubbing because it not only proved my point that no "god" was involved in Tebow's "Miracle" finishes, but also that Tebow himself is a hypocrite. He praises his deity when he wins, but doesn't hold it to account in a loss! And a whopping one at that where he's sacked twice and forced to fumble once. This schizoid approach to his god shows me it's not real, and he merely uses it as a rallying ploy when convenient (e.g. against sorry ass, so-so teams that make huge errors at the end of games to enable Tebow to prevail in Tebow time) .

The Pats, however, proved once and for all that it's smoke and mirrors and that Tebow is no miracle worker. Defend him properly, especially using ball grabbing tactics for which the Pats are famous, and he turns into a very pedestrian QB. When faced with a formidable, multi-threat offense, and a defense that can make the necessary adjustments, Tim Tebow and his team turn out to be straw men....as I predicted last week.

As for Tebow scoring, Sofia Brugato, a blogger for the website Abortion Gang, knows the value of Tebow’s energy. She initiated a campaign last week that encourages Americans to donate money to pro-choice groups — such as Planned Parenthood and the National Abortion Rights Action League — each time Tebow scores. Since he scored two TDs yesterday, one expects lots of donations would have flowed in.

In the end, however, what matters is whether in this period of economic distress, the people are so desperate that they're prepared to put their faith in a faux savior rather than in themselves and in the country to solve its own problems.

Don't look to Tim Tebow! All his prayers and invocations yesterday couldn't do donkey squat to entice his "Lord and Savior" to assist him or his team. Nor could all his Mile High Mount Sermonizing throughout the game summon enough useful energy for the Broncos to come back from their own forlorn mistakes.

At least Brady and his Patriots exposed this bunch of pretenders for what they were - not fit to play with the 'big boys' yet!

Enough Of This "Tebow-itis"!

Matthew 6:5-7: “When thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret"

The whole pro football world, and the media that supports it, seems to have gone off the deep end now with Tim Tebow-itis. We are now informed (by Broncos' linebacker Wesley Woodyard), in today's Denver Post, that Tebow informed the team before the game yesterday afternoon with the Bears - in a "quiet corner of the locker room" - that all would be well. "God has spoken to him and has said 'don't worry about a thing".

After the game, as reported by Denver Post sports columnist Mike Kiszla, Tebow acknowledged the power of his deity in the game: "I believe in a BIG God, and special things can happen!

Really, Tim? And how big is your God? As big as the solar system? The galaxy? The Local Group of Galaxies? The whole universe? (Including all the dark matter and energy?) Sheesh! Give it a rest, boy! You and you're team are pulling out these last minute wins not because of the interference of some "Almighty" exclusively wearing Broncos' blue, orange and white, but because all the teams you've faced and beaten: a) Have had serious injuries to key play makers, and b) the remnant teams have all made the same mistakes!

There is no divine action or engagement in football, Tim. Get over yourself. Even if a divinity does exist, and that's never been proven, it would arguably have better things to do with its time than mind the Broncos' games each and every Sunday and respond to your "Tebowing" to interfere to cause a field goal miss or an opposition fumble (like Marion Barber's yesterday in OT) to make sure you guys win!

So, is it really true that there's such a thing as "Tebow time"? Nope, not even close. What's happened in three of the last minute come from behind wins by Tebow and his crew is that the opposition began playing lax coverage, or what football aficionados refer to as "prevent defense": dropping into into soft pass coverage and allowing Tebow to complete passes at the expense of the clock. But it didn't work for any of the victims: the Dolphins, the Chargers, the Jets, and lastly the Bears yesterday. With the game literally on the line, and with only a one score (7 pt.) lead, the Bears made the same basic, disgusting error as the Dolphins, Chargers and Jets and gave Tebow room to work. He thereby threw for 191 of his 236 passing yards in the 4th quarter and overtime.

Even Bears star Linebacker Brian Urlacher admitted to the laxity, saying in a post-game interview: "We just didn't finish. We got into our zone defense at the end and they down the field and scored on us". Uh, yeppers, Brian, you could say that! One would have thought that at least the Bears would have closely watched the other teams' defeats at the hands of Tebow to see what they did wrong and not emulate it. But evidently not.

Meanwhile, the one team (Detroit Lions) to have demolished the Broncos (45-10) with Tebow, see, e.g.
http://brane-space.blogspot.com/2011/10/hyper-christian-qb-eaten-by-lions.html

played hard core, man to man defense until the final whistle. No wimpy, pussyfooting zone coverage or "prevent" for them. Let's also bear in mind that the Broncos have benefited by playing teams in those wins where key players were injured. For example, running back Adrian Peterson - the best Vikings offensive player- was missing from the Minnesota game and a huge reason why the Broncos pulled it out at the end (if Peterson had been in, the Vikes could have likely run out the clock). Ditto with key players missing from the Jets, and we know both RB Mat Forte and QB Jake Cutler were missing for the Bears in their Sunday contest. In each case, the Broncos have been major beneficiaries.

But, of course, the argument can be made that all teams suffer injuries, especially at this time of year. Heck, the Packers lost their star wideout Jennings in yesterday's Raiders game, to a torn medial collateral ligament. Ryan Pickett also went down with a concussion and is doubtful for the next game.

Thus, it's even more critical for teams not to make basic mistakes when facing the Broncos and Tebow - to prevent them from becoming a legend in their own minds. I mean, haven't we had enough of "Tebowing" and "Tebow-tizing" - the parody of the Christian baptism for any offending players who enter Mile High stadium, uh.....the new Mile High ....which is much closer to heaven, to hear the Bronco-maniacs.

Meanwhile, Tebow kool aid drinkers in the media typically have the wrong take. For example, Patton Dodd ('God's Quarterback', WSJ, Dec. 10-11, p. C1) correctly notes most or many Americans, are uncomfortable with displays of petty piety on the football field (or in baseball stadiums or on basketball courts, for that matter). We don't want to see any signs of the cross, or pointing skyward after a key or winning play because....why? Well it's fucking hypocritical! So when the same guys boff plays, drop balls, miss FGs and lose games....what's with that? WHOSE fault is that?

If you're going to point skyward following a great play or after an eventual "W'", shouldn't you be shaking your fists at the sky for a failed play, or a drubbing (like Detroit delivered)? Or wait, do you assume "me bad" for the failed play but not "me good" for the great one? Jeebers, at least be consistent, if you can't stop being full of false piety! And what about when you play another team laden with "believers"? If God is fair shouldn't the two teams always have games that end in ties? Or, is God less in one team than the other, and how exactly do you tell? Inquiring minds want to know!
Another canard trotted out by Dodd is that we distrust those like Tebow, because we "can't trust goodness". But wait! what exactly IS "goodness"? How is it defined or measured, and HOW do we know Tebow has it apart from his words, or claims? Do we see him curing the sick? What about even helping them out, say by devoting a tenth of his money to charities? What about giving up football altogether and traveling to Africa like some Peace Corps workers have done, and setting up potable water stations for thirsty villagers and their babies, so they don't have to suffer dysentery or other water-borne diseases? THAT is what I call genuine goodness! Self-sacrifice in the interest of others.

Meanwhile, Dodd offers up that Tebow met a young woman with brain cancer at Disney World for an Awards ceremony and offered to be her date for that event. He made her day! But is that on a par with a Peace Corps or other aid worker risking life and limb to build a fresh water aquifer in Congo or Botswana? I'm not demeaning Tebow's goodwill gesture, only saying we shouldn't conflate sports figures' moves or minor goodwill gestures (which also delivers positive PR - and likely many more commercial sponsorships) from a general sense of decency with a person truly sacrificing himself for his fellow man. Maybe I'm blind, but I don't see that from Tebow.

In any case, I see the Tebow train getting derailed next week when they play New England. These Patriots (their name) haven't been held to fewer than 31 points since the first week of November. Meanwhile, they've scored at least 30 pts. at least ten times this season. And the Broncos? They've score 18 or fewer points in six of Tebow's eight starts.

Let me put it this way: If Tebow and the Broncos manage somehow to pull this one out against the Pats, I will publicly "Tebow" in front of my house for 10 minutes right after the game- and I will have wifey take a photo of it and post on this blog! Howzzat?

See also: http://www.salon.com/2011/12/13/dont_fall_for_tebow/