Monday, December 19, 2011

Tebow Mania (Mercifully) Gets Sacked....for Now!

"Leave it to the Patriots to ruin things for everybody else.

Sports fans of America yesterday turned their eyes toward this stadium one mile above sea level, hoping to see another miracle; a burning bush, a football Fatima, perhaps 80,000 fans feasting on a few fishes and loaves.

No. There was no Tebow Time this time. Instead, we witnessed another routine execution by the brutal New England assassins who've ruled the AFC East in nine of the past eleven seasons.

Patriots 41, Broncos, 23. Praise the Lord and pass the humble pie!"

-Dan Shaughnessy - The Boston Globe

"A simplistic, throw-back offense isn't enough to exchange scores or keep pace against Patriots quarterback Tom Brady , a thoroughly 21st century man.

Sorry, Tim Tebow. Your time never arrived.

Tom Brady is not Caleb Hanie. Shocking the Bears is one thing.

But for the Broncos to stage a fourth-quarter comeback against New England, it would have required Tebow to possess more magic than Harry Potter.”

Mike Kiszla – Denver Post

And so, mercifully, the over-hyped fable of an insufferable, bible -quoting god boy working miracles at Sports Authority Stadium at Mile High in Denver has come to an end, at least for now. This is what I and many other "hardened cranks" (the description in a WSJ piece today, p. B10) have wanted from the moment it began. We KNEW Tebow was over-hyped, and just wanted the ever gullible, slap- happy, pie-eyed folk of America (most of whom don't know a cover 2 from a cover 1 defense) to see Tebow's frailities exposed - in a game against a really serious opponent. As opposed to a series of pretenders who: a) never made enough adjustments - especially on defense - at halftime, and b) always played idiotically (and too conservatively) at the end of the game just to run out the clock and sit on tiny leads, as opposed to aggressively adding more points and putting the game out of reach for any comeback "Tebow time". The Dolphins, Jets, and Bears all succumbed to this error, and paid. Then the rest of us paid, by having a mediocre QB transmogrified into some kind of wunderkind and hyped across the airwaves. (Except for Saturday Night Live where Tebow was spoofed by a Jesus sock puppet, telling him to cool it.)

Although Denver seized the early momentum in the game, the Broncos fumbled it away. Literally.

Three fumbles by the Broncos near their end of the field gave Brady all the edge he needed to rock what had appeared to be a granite-tough Denver defense against mediocre offenses.

Picking apart an outmanned Broncos' secondary filled with rookies, Brady completed 23 of 34 for 320 yards, two touchdowns and zero interceptions. And he had a 1-yard rushing touchdown, followed by a menacing spike, in the second quarter that put the Pats up, 24-16 after they had once trailed, 16-7.

At the point of that spike, Brady was heard to scream by many fans in the stadium:

"Take that! You Tebow Maniacs!"

I loved the 41-23 drubbing because it not only proved my point that no "god" was involved in Tebow's "Miracle" finishes, but also that Tebow himself is a hypocrite. He praises his deity when he wins, but doesn't hold it to account in a loss! And a whopping one at that where he's sacked twice and forced to fumble once. This schizoid approach to his god shows me it's not real, and he merely uses it as a rallying ploy when convenient (e.g. against sorry ass, so-so teams that make huge errors at the end of games to enable Tebow to prevail in Tebow time) .

The Pats, however, proved once and for all that it's smoke and mirrors and that Tebow is no miracle worker. Defend him properly, especially using ball grabbing tactics for which the Pats are famous, and he turns into a very pedestrian QB. When faced with a formidable, multi-threat offense, and a defense that can make the necessary adjustments, Tim Tebow and his team turn out to be straw I predicted last week.

As for Tebow scoring, Sofia Brugato, a blogger for the website Abortion Gang, knows the value of Tebow’s energy. She initiated a campaign last week that encourages Americans to donate money to pro-choice groups — such as Planned Parenthood and the National Abortion Rights Action League — each time Tebow scores. Since he scored two TDs yesterday, one expects lots of donations would have flowed in.

In the end, however, what matters is whether in this period of economic distress, the people are so desperate that they're prepared to put their faith in a faux savior rather than in themselves and in the country to solve its own problems.

Don't look to Tim Tebow! All his prayers and invocations yesterday couldn't do donkey squat to entice his "Lord and Savior" to assist him or his team. Nor could all his Mile High Mount Sermonizing throughout the game summon enough useful energy for the Broncos to come back from their own forlorn mistakes.

At least Brady and his Patriots exposed this bunch of pretenders for what they were - not fit to play with the 'big boys' yet!

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