Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Mom's Grave Site in Punta Gorda, FL : The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

First, the bad and the ugly: the 'visit' to the Punta Gorda, FLA cemetery appalled and disgusted me as I beheld flowers etc. arranged haphazardly and the names on the grave stones nearly totally covered. This especially galled me given the person responsible had professed so much "love" (see my Nov. 10 blog post) for our mother in real life, yet seemed to have abandoned her when laid to rest. No, obviously I didn't visit in person, I visited thanks to my youngest brother who - with his family - took the time out of their busy day (in the process of moving to Port Charlotte and settling in) to clean up the site and make it presentable.

Recall, the person supposedly responsible didn't even have the common decency to inform me of our mother's death when it occurred. I had to find out by encountering the random condolences of strangers three days later - preventing me from even attending her funeral.

The grave site, with the graves so obscured by flopping flower displays, was not even visible to my brother Mike at first, and he had to go to the central office to fix the location. There, the office worker also expressed concern and reiterated again it was up to the family to keep the grave site presentable- not the cemetery staff. They were only responsible for the surrounding grounds, lawns etc.

The photos below showed the grave site upon his arrival:

Note the name is not even visible. Worse yet, the date of death  - even now after ten days - had not been inscribed.

Another scene of the mish-mash is seen below:

Again, the display shows an inherent carelessness as if the person or persons simply couldn't be bothered to take the time to arrange the displays properly.

Now, time for the GOOD! How else, i.e. how rationally and aesthetically might the arrangement have been done? As shown below -  this after several hours of work by Mike and his family, including wiping off sand, clearing weeds etc. Below, Mike's daughter Ciara scrubs dirt from the grave markers:

The above photo shows the grave site after being cleaned up and the flowers properly arranged. The grave markers are now respectfully presented and they are clear so the names can be read on each. Mike is now going to be the care taker for our parents' graves to never allow them to be so cluttered and badly presented again. He deserves all credit for taking on this job, with his family - which will include regularly disposing of weeds etc.

As for the professed "love" for mom declared by the person who chose to shut us out from learning of her death, and turning her back on Mike (for his past "misdeeds") and me for asking her if she notified him of her declining state, perhaps this "love of God" she also professes needs a reality check. I would refer her to Matthew 18:21-22:

21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

Exegetically, Jesus actually didn't mean to forgive one's brother 490 times (70 x 7), but endlessly - as God himself would. Not to forgive then is an absence of love, for one's neighbor, one's brother and one's professed God.

Maybe she needs to learn more and go back again to catechism school!


Mike said...

Well said. I agree with you re: sis needing to learn what "love" REALLY means, as well as "forgiveness" and humility.

I'll also be getting with the office mgr at the cemetery to see if I can have someone put sod all around the folks' graves where there's mostly sand now (at our expense, of course).

Again, good post.

Copernicus said...

Thanks! That sounds like an excellent idea, to have sod in the proximity and not sand which can blow over the markers.

I DO hope hope more family especially, some to Brane Space to see the In Memoriam to mom and leave comments, as opposed to that phony memorial site - heavily censored - set up at Legacy.com.

I personally refuse to sign that 'guest book' operated by the likes of dear old sis!