"Lifetime warranties" - Not in Colorado!

I'm sure everyone's heard the saying that you "learn something new every day". Well, today I learned that what are usually called "lifetime warranties" - mean absolutely nothing in Colorado. This according to a lead story appearing on page 1A of today's Denver Post.

To set the scene (and the assumed meanings), most American consumers see lifetime warranty to mean one of three things: the owner's lifetime or the time he or she owns the product; the lifetime of the product itself; or the lifetime of the manufacturer. There's also an implied warranty, which is that a product can do what it's supposed to do and that it can be used for any purpose the seller says it can. If the seller asserts a toe nail clipper can also open a can of beer, it better damned well be able to do so, else he must cough up the goods...or not!

In Colorado, the law doesn't give a precise meaning to the word "lifetime" when used in a contract, according to Attorney General John Suthers' office. In fact, lifetime can mean whatever the individuals peddling the guarantee want it to mean — as long as they tell you. According to a Suthers' spokesperson quoted in The Post:

"A seller is free to limit a lifetime warranty or guarantee as long as he conspicuously discloses what 'lifetime' means,"

So, in other words, if - in the process of opening that can of beer- the nail clipper breaks up in one minute, and the seller had in fine print that by doing such a task the clipper's lifetime was limited to ten seconds, you're out of luck. He described what "lifetime" meant, and that's what matters!

Well, nail clippers sold as can openers is one thing, but when a guy purchases a $2.7 million home that's a different matter. As noted in the Post piece, one guy bought such a home, which had a number of issues with windows, plumbing and other items that supposedly came with "lifetime" warranties.

According to the home buyer:

"My natural presumption is that lifetime means the life of the product. They're being sold as a lifetime. Why wouldn't it be?"

But in this case, it turned out to be the lifetime of the builder, who filed for bankruptcy last year as a result of the housing slump, leaving the warranties unenforceable.

Regrettably, it doesn't matter what the consumer thinks the warranty means. Rarely does it mean the lifetime of the consumer, and the phrase is little more than a casual marketing tool, according to experts.

This may be another good reason not to purchase such warranties at all, since they're mainly going to be a waste of money (as I personally believe most warranties are - merely gimmicks to up the effective sales price of a product). However, as the article notes there ARE products that do effectively issue lifetime warranties, like: Cross pens, Zippo lighters, Fuller brushes, and JanSports back packs.

They're just not made in Colorado!