Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Red State Secessionists: Should We Let These Fools Leave the Union?

Well, who'd have actually thought that within days of Obama winning re-election, and by a large electoral margin, at least four Southern states would have met their respective petition thresholds to ask to secede from the Union, aka the US of A. When they earlier were barking to anyone who'd listen: "America, Love it Or Leave It!" Yeah, well yahoos, now may well be your time to leave it!

According to Rachel Maddow, in her show last night, Texas leads the pack of new secessionists with over 95,000 signatures for its petition.  Other states include the usual Rebel hangouts, like Mississippi (where Ole Miss crackers....errrr..students, went ape shit after Obama's victory but ended up drinking themselves into a stupor), Alabam and JOH-JUH. So what's new?

The Texas petition is worded thusly:

"The US continues to suffer economic difficulties stemming from the federal government's neglect to reform domestic and foreign spending. The citizens of the US suffer from blatant abuses of their rights such as the NDAA, the TSA, etc. Given that the state of Texas maintains a balanced budget and is the 15th largest economy in the world, it is practically feasible for Texas to withdraw from the union, and to do so would protect it's citizens' standard of living and re-secure their rights and liberties in accordance with the original ideas and beliefs of our founding fathers which are no longer being reflected by the federal government."

Just don't let the door whack you in the ass on the way out!

In principle, I have nothing against these descendants of oilmen- Johnny Reb crackers & JFK killers to leave the Union. Indeed, I believe it'd instantly clean up the U.S. profile, apart from limiting ten billion tons of chemical crap and toxins that finds it way into U.S. homes each year. Most produced in Tex-Ass. We would also be finally finished with peckerwood cretins on TX school boards that have made a fetish out of gutting our national text books and curricula, since those biology texts (often with mention of Darwinian evolution eviscerated) and history texts (singing the praises of the traitor Jeff Davis) have deluded millions of non-Texan students since the books adopted in Texas also mark the books adopted elsewhere. (Publishers have long since argued that since Texas is their largest market, it makes no financial sense to publish two different sets of textbooks, one for Texas, another for the rest of the U.S.)

As for the other states that want out, no,  sorry, we can't have a wholesale "jail break". You get only one large red state, Texas, and that's it! Call it whatever you want, but that's all you get. We can't have our entire sane Union surrounded on its southern border by nincompoops, hateful crackers and n'er do wells, not to mention outright racists, jingoist warmongers, and tax -cutting fetishists, deficit hawks.

As I've noted before, most Southern- neo-Confederate idiosyncrasies (like NASCAR, country & western music, hayseed dancing) which I have zero use for, are more or less harmless pastimes, so I don't get off on ripping anyone for pursuing them, even fellow Yankees who embrace these "cultural affections" (afflictions?). I have much more serious issues with the (now much more extensive) embrace of pro-Confederate style politics, including trying to cut the government down to the scale it can't do anything - oh, except to create vast armies to occupy sovereign nations,  and rendering public workers little better than modern day sharecroppers or slaves. We won't even go into the Southern hick bible humping that most readers will appreciate I've always found odious.

To my way of thinking then, at least in theory, turning all the Red-staters loose in a 'Red Republic of Texas', to make their own way - so they can tax cut and hump bibles to their hearts' content, is something to at least be considered. However, certain provisos and conditions must first be ensured before we can seriously consider such separation. Blogger Brent Abrahamson, on  probably laid them out better than anyone else, and I list them for convenience here:

First, Texas must allow all U. S. citizens residing in the various states who wish to renounce their U. S. citizenship to re-locate within its borders. Then it must allow those in Texas who wish to remain citizens to leave. All entities, including military bases, belonging to the United States Government will be relocated from the Republic of Texas to the country of the United States of America.

Second, in conjunction with the Republic of Texas, a wall securing the border will be built separating the United States of America and the Republic of Texas. All citizens residing in the Republic of Texas will have their United States citizenship revoked.

Third, any United States citizens wishing to re-locate in the Republic of Texas shall leave freely with their United States' citizenship revoked automatically. In no case will dual citizenship be allowed.

Fourth, just as the new Republic of Texas may adopt laws regarding citizens who wish to emigrate to the United States, the United States will determine the process, if any, for receiving those wishing to pursue citizenship in the United States of America.

Of course, he's being facetious here, as he adds:

"Okay, so we know that the crazies will not win, that, in fact, they can't secede. Those who are unhappy with the United States government, however, are more than welcome to self-deport."

AH! But self-deport to where? Which nation will take them? Some yahoos on have yapped about going to Canada, but they obviously don't comprehend that Canada has as much population diversity as the U.S. Unless they maybe just stick to the Yukon Territory! Others have imagined going to Europe, obviously forgetting that tens of millions of Muslims are also emigrating there, so what will they do then? I suppose they can bring their stupid bibles and try to convert them. Good luck on that!

Maybe the best bet is just try to find their own little island, out in the Pacific somewhere. Maybe Vanuatu after all its regular inhabitants have evacuated as a result of rising seas from climate change. But then, the Red staters don't believe in climate change what's to lose?

Maybe in the end, they'd be better off doing what former "secessionist" and Texas Gov. Rick Perry now proposes: just stay in the union and DEAL with It! You know, like mature adults! Instead of reactively pitching a hissy fit, and wanting to take their 'toys' (bibles, guns, pickups, etc) with them.

Still, Texas finally seceding did make a half way decent fantasy, at least for some some of us! 

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