Saturday, June 5, 2010

Ode to a Hateful Clown: Sandburg on Billy Sunday

One way to know if a religion or religious cult is deranged - and likely replete with deranged mental zombies (or imbeciles) is the degree to which they extol the "angry God" idiom and/or fire and brimstone harping. We all have seen the film, Elmer Gantry - well that fictional character was actually based on a real piece of work. Billy Sunday.

Those interested in ascertaining how mentally degraded this nitwit was can check out any of his "sermons" here:

They serve as an interesting historical touchstone, especially as the young Jim Jones used to listen to them on the radio all the time - modelling his own beliefs and preaching on style on them. And we all know what happened in Jonestown.

Anyway, the great poet Carl Sandburg wrote the following about this bombastic, miscreant:

To Billy Sunday

You come along... tearing your shirt... yelling
about Jesus.

I want to know... what the hell... you
know about Jesus.

Jesus had a way of talking softly and everybody
except a few bankers and higher-ups among the
con men of Jerusalem liked to have this Jesus
around because he never made any fake passes
and everything he said went and he helped the
sick and gave the people hope.

You come along squirting words at us, shaking
your fist and calling us damn fools so fierce the
froth of your own spit slobbers over your lips --
always blabbing we're all going to hell straight
off and you know all about it.

I've read Jesus' words. I know what he said. You
don't throw any scare into me. I've got your
number. I know how much you know about

He never came near clean people or dirty people
but they felt cleaner because he came along. It
was your crowd of bankers and business men
and lawyers that hired the sluggers and murderers
who put Jesus out of the running.
I say it was the same bunch that's backing you that
nailed the nails into the hands of this Jesus of
Nazareth. He had lined up against him the
same crooks and strong-arm men now lined up
with you paying your way.

This Jesus guy was good to look at, smelled good,
listened good. He threw out something fresh
and beautiful from the skin of his body and the
touch of his hands wherever he passed along.
You, Billy Sunday, put a smut on every human
blossom that comes within reach of your rotten
breath belching about hell-fire and hiccuping
about this man who lived a clean life in Galilee.
When are you going to quit making the carpenters
build emergency hospitals for women and girls
driven crazy with wrecked nerves from your
goddam gibberish about Jesus -- I put it to you
again: What the hell do you know about Jesus?
Go ahead and bust all the chairs you want to.
Smash a whole wagon load of furniture at every
performance. Turn sixty somersaults and stand
on your nutty head. If it wasn't for the way
you scare women and kids, I'd feel sorry for
you and pass the hat.

I like to wash a good four-flusher work but not
when he starts people to puking and calling for
the doctors.

I like a man that's got guts and can pull off a great
original performance, but you -- hell, you're only
a bughouse peddler of second-hand gospel --
you're only shoving out a phony imitation of
the goods this Jesus guy told us ought to be free
as air and sunlight.

Sometimes I wonder what sort of pups born from
mongrel bitches there are in the world less
heroic than you.

You tell people living in shanties Jesus is going to
fix it up all right with them by giving them
mansions in the skies after they're dead and the
worms have eaten 'em.

You tell $6 a week department store girls all they
need is Jesus; you take a steel trust wop, dead
without having lived, gray and shrunken at
forty years of age, and you tell him to look at
Jesus on the cross and he'll be all right.

You tell poor people they don't need any more
money on pay day and even if it's fierce to be
out of a job, Jesus'll fix that all right, all right --
all they gotta do is take Jesus the way you say.
I'm telling you this Jesus guy wouldn't stand for
the stuff you're handing out. Jesus played it
different. The bankers and corporation lawyers
of Jerusalem got their sluggers and murderers
to go after Jesus just because Jesus wouldn't
play their game. He didn't sit in with the big

I don't want a lot of gab from the bunkshooter in
my religion.

I won't take my religion from a man who never
works except with his mouth and never cherishes
a memory except the face of the woman on the
American silver dollar.

I ask you to come through and show me where
you're pouring out the blood of your life.
I've been in this suburb of Jerusalem they call
Golgotha, where they nailed Him, and I know if the
story is straight it was real blood ran from his
hand and the nail-holes, and it was real blood
spurted out where the spear of the Roman
soldier rammed in between the ribs of this Jesus
of Nazareth.


janidebar said...

An eloquent poem that says it all about Billy Sunday....and all the degenerate "pastors" descended from his scum, including Fred Phelps, Jim Jones....and PM!

janidebar said...

I just came from Pastor Mike's latest blog and see he just can't help contradicting himself! Recall in response to Part II of your blog on reincarnation he insisted Christians/evangelicals don't "convert"? (I believe in our piece you asked why eastern religions aren't so aggressive in seeking converts).

Anyway, at the time, PM argued christians don't convert they "sow seeds". As usual, changing language when its in his advantage to do so.

Now in his blog he first writes, under a photo of Billy Sunday preaching in 1907:

"Sunday was a former baseball player who, after his conversion to evangelical Christianity became one of the most highly regarded preachers in the United States "

Get that? His CONVERSION to evangelical Christianity! Now, just to make sure this isn't an error, when we read on we see:

"Brothers and Sisters ; Billy Sunday definitely did exactly that, targeting North America, and through him there were hundreds of thousands of converts"


So, now he comes clean and does fess up that the evnagelicals are all about getting converts!

Of course, when anyone checks back, after he reads this (if he does) they will see he altered his text to reflect his earlier lies.

And this character believes he's guided by a "Holy Ghost"? He's dreaming.

Caleb Shay said...

Copernicus wrote:

"But in this case, silence IS a statement. We know Mike isn't silent about anything if it advances his biblical bunkum. Hence his tacit silence here is definitely implying that according to his biblical authority, Israel is damned.....after Armageddon, of couse"

Well, I guess you missed the guy's latest. He definitely has an 'explanation' for it all. He writes on his blog for example:

'While individual Jews must come to Christ for salvation, God is still not finished with Israel as a nation. The Bible tells us that in the end times, Israel will finally recognize Jesus as their Messiah (Zechariah 12:10). Jeremiah 33:8, Ezekiel 11:17, Romans 11:26'

I mean what kind of happy sauce is this guy drinking? Does he really believe the Jews and Israel are finally gonna "recognize Jesus"? THEY CRUCIFIED HIM!!

Other than the "Jews for Jesus" they aren't going to recognize him!

Oh, and this is choice, the 144,000 aren't the total saved but only the "frist fruits" - they evidently are then going to go out an proselytize all their brethren to become bible punching Johnny come lately personal believers in Jesus!

Well, at least he does admit what you put it your blog is correct! Unless Jews come to Jesus, they will be damned.

So Israel and the world's Jews are only being used now by the fundies, to get their prophecies fulfilled along with their other delusional beliefs.

These folks definitely need to be put into the nutcase category of the DSM-V (according to the therp brigade who wrote up "psychosis risk syndrome" mentioned in your blog piece)

Copernicus said...

janidebar wrote:

Get that? His CONVERSION to evangelical Christianity! Now, just to make sure this isn't an error, when we read on we see:

"Brothers and Sisters ; Billy Sunday definitely did exactly that, targeting North America, and through him there were hundreds of thousands of converts"



Yeah, I saw that too and kind of chuckled.

Of course, I was aware from the outset Mike was changing the meaning of words. 'Sowing seeds"?

Heck, call a spade a spade: it's still CONVERSION!

All the points I made earlier still apply, especially the point that eastern religions don't have to strong arm people into conversion.

Most eastern religions aren't obsessive about salvation because they're convinced we all will end up int the cycle of birth and rebirths no matter what. We can proclaim atheism - or hellfire like Mike, and it won't matter.

"Christians" like Mike, Billy Sunday etc, meanwhile, are anal retentive about it all. They don't get it through their skulls that in the end it doesn't matter. There is no Hell and never could be. Simple logic shows it can't exist, especially if one accepts an infinite deity.

If one takes the term infinite literally then it means leaving no room or dimensions for anything other than itself. Hence, Hell can't exist, else it'd be part of the divinity!

It is incredible that the bible bangers' lack of rational sense and their biblical myopia prevents them from simple reasoning.

But that simply shows how very pathological their beliefs are. So strong and pathological they short circuit their reasoning centers!

Kevin Phillips, the respected author of 'American Theocracy' has put it best:

"The rapture, end times and Armageddon hucksters in the United States rank with any Shiite Ayatollah"

It simply beggars the rationalist's mind and imagination that so many could believe this codswallop instead of flusshing it all down the toilet.