Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Diet Advice from Pastor Mikey!




Jeez whiz, just what I always wanted: diet advice from a bombastic, opinionated, religiously deluded blowhard! (One who is evidently not only a "pastor in waiting" but a "doctor in waiting" too, as he purports to be able to diagnose a case of food poisoning, or rather -excuse me - assert what a trained RN diagnosed as such, really wasn't!). Sometimes I think the guy has missed his calling and ought to be lined up as a Vegas Comedy act!

Let's see what he had to say in a recent blog:

"Now , I also still get the occasional 'belly aches' and feel nauseous at times , though I mostly contribute it to my stupidity of perhaps over-indulging in certain dietary habits that I backslide on at times . In those instances , I'll just get out MY 'medicine,' ( the Bible ) , and immerse myself in God's Word , and before I realize it , I'm fine ."

Of course, this means: a) he really wasn't suffering from food poisoning, and b) lacks the basic intellect or knowledge to understand that his bible likely wouldn't prevent a salmonella or botulism infection from mauling his guts. Also, as I already showed, his KJV is worthless in providing even basic biological facts (e.g. it calls the hare a "chewer of cud" and a whale a "fish"!)


http://brane-space.blogspot.com/2011/02/more-errors-in-king-james-bible.html

He's also oblivious and ignorant (but why must we be surprised) to the basic medical fact that food poisoning isn't a result of "dietary over-indulgence" but rather ingestion of a bacteria (like salmonella) in food - which may indeed have been taken in minuscule amounts. (The potato salad I ate the night before, the key suspect, contained four small one inch size slices- barely one ounce). But what more can we expect from a character who actually invests 100% truth in a book that claims "Fowls creep, going upon all fours"! Even the dumbest, most regressed biology students I ever had knew that fowl like chickens strut on two legs, not four!

And this moron wants me to use his book for what....errr...maybe jokes!

Not fatigued he goes on:


"Here again , I'm NOT saying that a person should not seek medical attention if they feel the need , but we shouldn't have a knee jerk reaction to every little pain that comes down the pike , either . "

Again, Mr. Mikey, M.D. poses as a full physician, not content to be merely posing as a pastor. He knows nothing, but lets on like he knows everything, just like his stupid KJV. In fact, once one has vomited five times and each accompanied by significant volume of liquid, one need not be a medical expert to know something is wrong. But still I didn't "seek medical attention" - simply had my wife phone our RN friend who did say it was food poisoning - not a "belly ache" -which doesn't normally produce five buckets of vomit in four hours.

More blather:

"Now , what does Phil do to cure himself ? Well , I guess Satan convinced him to take , as he said , "an Echinacea-based (sugar free) cough lozenge." When I first read that , I said , "WHAAAT is 'DAT? A new type of Witch's Brew or something?" Don't they have Pepto-Bismol where he lives?"

Actually, the wannabe doc doesn't seem to realize that Pepto is usually just for upset stomach, not for food poisioning. It generally makes food poisoning much worse -maybe why Mikey needs to go all out for his online M.D. degree if he's gonna give advice. The lozenge itself was actually not used to cure the vomiting but as I noted, to rid my mouth of the taste of vomit. But since Mikey can't even discriminate between a belly ache and food poisoning, maybe he'd do better not to waste more money on an online M.D. after all.

Did "Satan" convince me to take it? Nope, my wife, at her suggestion - but maybe Mikey believes "Satan" possesses her as well. Who knows?

More Mikey mouthing:

"But then , being the over-thinker that he is , he then writes , after he began feeling better:"Did the Echinacea lozenge really work? A glance at the University of Maryland Alternative Medicine website brought up this information." So now , lo and behold , he believes that some "snake-oil" that the "Native Americans may have used...more than 400 years" ago could be a "cure-all."

But typical of his whole pathetic argumentative style (which is why he gets his fat butt beaten so often) he alleges and conflates statements actually made with the published claims (from the U-MD site) I didn't. Thus, the U-MD site noted Native Americans regarded echinacea as a cure all - and this was logical given that herbal sources proliferated, and anti-biotics (now actually used to stabilize salmonella) hadn't yet been found. My only claim was that taking the lozenge appeared to stop the vomiting which it did. I never said it "cured the food poisoning" -since the general symptoms (minus vomiting) continued- nor did I say I "believed" it was a "cure-all". Those are words Mikey tries to insert into my blog.

Now, the clown emerges:

"Heh...heh...heh...amazing , huh? So , after reading the info from the University of Maryland's Alternative Medicine website , he stated , "...taking the echinacea lozenges actually had worked..." Well , ONLY God knows , though I still doubt he had a bona fide case of food poisoning , ."

Now, since Mikey didn't really see the vomit splashed out into the toilet bowl, I guess he's entitled to doubt it was really a case of food poisoning. But most reasonable folks wouldn't actually require a digital image of me leaning over the bowl upchucking to make the point. Seems strange he requires such a threshold of proof to accept my words, yet he willingly accepts the bollocks of some 2,000+ year-old script from an illiterate sheep herder claiming "hares cheweth the cud..." and "fowls that creep, going upon all four"

Go figure!


And as usual he saves the best for last:


" I still feel The LORD was giving him a wake-up call , to let him know that he better watch what he not only tosses into his PHYSICAL body , but his SPIRITUAL one as well ! But , now that you're feeling better , Phil , how 'bout "digesting" the Word of God - and watch how fast you "throw up" Satan and his demons !! "

Of course, earlier he intimates my usual diet is one of "bratwursts, hot wings, and pizza, beer" so this isn't surprising. Not realizing - maybe because he never followed any sports, that this is the height of football season, and people - for big games, chow down football food!

See, e.g.

http://www.jsonline.com/features/food/

But hey! A guy that spends 100% of his waking, non-working hours with nose buried in a 2,000 year old book (full of errors of fact) isn't too likely to know the difference between a first down and a touchdown, far less recognize a 3-4 defense from a 4-3. And he'd be totally ignorant of knowing that yes, when a big game comes on, one brings out football fare like brats, hot wings, and even .....BEER!

Does that mean I'm an alchy like he used to be! Hardly! I consume beer maybe five times a YEAR if that, as opposed to the case he used to down each night in his one time trailer (before he found Jaysus) at Lake Panasofkee, Florida. (But then after having visited Lake Panasofkee once (1976) I can understand why one would want to drown out reality!) And when I drink beer it is one glass (ok, large) and that is strictly for the major football games. It's also only at those times I plow into the wings, pizza, or nachos.

All other times, my diet would put him to shame: lean chicken and brown rice, avocado and granola for breakfast, salmon, tuna and cabbage, broccoli , brussels sprouts!

Not exactly the types of food that Mikey would look at, far less eat - yet this bozo presumes to lecture me on diet! But then I know that Mikey, even being nearly seven years younger than me, can't run two miles every other day like I can, nor would he be able to walk two feet on a mountain peak 14,000' up without collapsing from oxygen starvation! (And two hours of snow shovelling would probably put him in the ICU - maybe why he lives in Florida!)

Yet he wants to lecture moi about what I "toss into my physical body".

As for his nonsense about a "spiritual body", I will stand up and take notice when Mr. would be (wannabe?) Doctor-Pastor proves to me it exists. Show it's as real as a physical body then we'll talk, Mr. 'offers advice where none's asked for' Magoo! As for "Satan and his demons", I wouldn't even deign to dignify such claptrap with a response. One can only hope the rest of Mikey's household (including whoever took the photo of him extending his KJV as an offering to me) are not so regressed in mind as he is to believe in "Satan, Hell or demons". If they are, well,.....I could suggest a good therp in Miramar.

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