BEWARE! Of Sexual Congress with Succubi!

Top - the circle of Hell reserved for male humans who had intercourse with succubi. Bottom: Adam's first wife "Lilith" who later metamorphosed into a demonic succubus, as depicted (1892) by artist John Collier.

We have to hand it to Dante, in his 'Inferno',  for imagining a truly variegated "Hell" that wasn't merely reduced to the cartoonish offal of endless fires or burning souls. Anyone with a grain of sense knows that these are impossible anyway, and all the astronomical abodes that harbor ferocious heat (e.g. the type O, and B stars) aren't eternal. Most burn themselves out after a few million years.

Instead of unending "fires" which are impossible and imply numerous metaphysical problems (including defining the differences between "spiritual fire" and physical fire), Dante invoked and created subtle forms of eternal torments peculiar to the violations of the damned. For example, in the 2nd Circle of Hell we find those condemned for their lust, "the carnal malefactors"- for letting their raw carnal appetites subdue their reason. They're the first ones to be truly punished in Hell. (The First Circle is not truly a punishment level but rather "Limbo" - for all unbaptized infants. Not even Dante could imagine them being sent to eternal perdition!) The souls of the lust -ridden are blown about to and fro by the ferocious winds of a violent storm, without hope of rest. This symbolized the power of lust to blow one about needlessly and aimlessly.


For some who think this tame compared to fires, think again! Imagine yourself trapped in a wind tunnel, unable to seize one moment, one second of rest or respite. The subtext of Dante was that one doesn't need the most horrific or even painful punishment to confer absolute grief and horror - only a grinding one that never ends. IN the worst of these cyclones, which includes repetitive "demon rape", a new brew of Xtian knotheads have evidently included all those forlorn human males that have had congress with succubi and hence, ended up "gay".  (Where do these asswipes come up with these ideas?)

But anyway, those of sound mind (i.e. no fundagelical psychosis) are fully aware that  the reigning scientific consensus on sexual orientation is that it’s an inherited, biological trait. Hence, one doesn't "choose" to be gay, rather it's dictated in their DNA, genes, as much as temperament or being short. Do we accuse the stature- challenged of consorting with demons? Of course not!

But alas, a Christian magazine called 'Charisma, seems to have conducted its own investigation into the origins of homosexuality to reveal the real culprit: sex with demons! (Example: Adam's 1st wife Lilith  depicted with her Satanic serpent, who then became a succubus). The mag asks, seriously:


“Can demons engage in sexual behaviors with humans?”

The answer? YES! At least according to the article’s primary source, a former stripper-turned-ministry leader named Contessa Adams. Adams shares her decades-long struggle with demon sex, sparing no horrible, sexy detail. She thus refers to her book Consequences, and asserts they often prey on people by performing sexual acts through nightmares and erotic dreams. Some people become so dependent upon these demonic experiences that they actually look forward to them.

The two most identifiable sexual demons, which btw can inhabit sex toys according to the fundies - are the incubi (which go after females, hence likely found in dildoes....sorry, Mitch McConnell!) or succubi, the Lilith type which men are warned can be harbored in assorted "vaginal" toys. Men who use these contraptions are therefore directly at risk of succubi possession....and to hear or see Contessa Adams tell it, end up having their sexual orientation altered.

Apart from Contessa's raunch, probably the most powerful impetus to searing succubi sexual antics - and necessary searches - was the Malleus Maleficarum of Heinrich Kramer (Dean of Cologne University) and Jacob Sprenger (Dominican Inquisitor General of Germany). This was the book which gave the prescriptions for exposing those possessed, or under the influence of familiars or succubi, incubi) . This was under a Bull issued by Pope Innocent VIII.


Females suspected of incubus congress caught holy hell for sure, with tortures that would make most people have prolonged nightmares - including stuffing hot coals into the pudenda and ripping out the labia. Males, for their part did not entirely escape suspicion either. Espousing atheist or heretic tracts or opinions was certain to earn the purveyor a seat before the Inquisitors. From there, it was usually a short step to accusing them of either being warlocks, or if no evidence for that was obtained, then at least having intercourse with succubi. (Today, the succubi hunters going door to door would round up any men in possession of sexual toys, like artificial vaginas.) According to Charisma magazine, demons aren’t just about getting laid. They’re wreaking havoc all over the place, in addition to the mischief they’ve wrought on confused Christian genitalia. (And to hear some "pastors" tell it, using atheists to add to the mayhem)

Now, according to Sprenger and Kramer (M.M., pp. 26-27) Succubi were demonic entities that assumed the form of a beautiful woman (like Lilith). Once the entity made contact with human semen or collected it i.e. at night, it became possible for it to engender demonic babies. Demon manpower became a metaphysical issue since it was originally believed each human had to have a specific demonic tempter, as well as a "tormenter" if consigned to Hell. Since thousands of humans died each hour, and most were believed to have gone to Hell, and only 2,000 original Demons existed - the need for extra hands was clear.


The authors manifested a vigorous take on doubters (p. 27) when they note:

“In spite of the contention of some that devils in bodily shape can in no way generate children, ….it cannot be altogether false according to Aristotle in his 6th Ethics, and at the end of the de Somno et Uigilia”


Here we have a first hint of the concept of demon reproduction in order to keep up with the expanding human populace- especially the portion destined for Hell. Obviously, if the world began with only 2,000 demons, imps and Devils, they would never be able to keep up with the temptation burden as the human population increased to hundreds of millions then billions.

If, for example, the demonic hierarchy population stayed fixed at 2,000 then it follows that when the human population hit 6 billion each demon would have 3 million humans (each) to try to tempt into a Hell bound act each day – by dividing the labor equally. Given a uniform load, each demon would only have about 0.028 seconds per day for a Hell bound temptation. This isn’t even enough time for a demon to fart. Thus, a way had to be found to increase the demon population.


But I digress......

According to the witch hunters (M.M. p. 27)


“because succubi can work transmutations in semen”


Then human semen was all the evidence the Inquisitors needed to marshal circumstantial evidence for the human male having had intercourse to bring demonic babies to life. The next step merely entailed finding a mark that a succubus may have left. This entailed using an extended 4" long needle which was jabbed into the suspect's penis or testicles. Suspicion immediately fell if one spot was located that didn't elicit pain response.


From there, and especially if there was resistance, it was but a small step to the major torture or execution, usually the Iron Maiden. The device (in the shape of a large, i.e. heavyset  "maiden", about 6' by 3' by 3') featured two doors which could be opened to enable the victim to be put inside. The whole interior was fitted with long, iron spikes so that when the doors were closed, the spikes were driven into various parts of the victim’s body. Generally, two entered his eyes, others pierced his back, chest and abdomen and impaled him in such a way that he didn’t die at once but in a lingering agony. When death finally relieved the poor wretch of his agonies, a trap door opened to allow the body to drop into the water below.

Readers will be delighted to know that today, the primary demon fighter establishment is "the New Apostolic Reformation"  (NAR), a global network of Charismatic Christian ministries devoted to Dominionism, the idea that they must take over public institutions in order to save America and the world from … demons (and gays, of course). NAR is ridiculous, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t powerful, with millions of followers worldwide and domestic and international political relationships ranging from Senator Sam Brownback, Mike Huckabee and Newt Gingrich.

One reason for promoting the "fiscal cliff" nonsense, is to yank people - citizens off of Social Security and Medicare so they will have to fend for themselves in terms of health and financial security. It has been thus believed - from the days of Rev. Josiah Strong- that such "dependencies" are avenues to the demonic hordes and must be halted. The Repukes who now sputter on about "revenue increases" to avoid the fiscal cliff are merely using a long time ruse whereby they don't mean a true increase in tax rates ....but closing loopholes and deductions. I imagine these assholes figure the demonic hordes would more properly countenance the latter than true tax rate increases, say back to the Clinton era of 39.6%

For myself, I am glad as hell I don't have to worry about encountering any succubi! Since the high dose radiation treatment I received for prostate cancer has essentially eliminated all semen....there's no reason any succubi like Lilith would come skulking around to force me into making demonic babies!

As for the NAR and other looney tune demonic mongers, the sooner we can get them into massive ECT treatments, the better!