Pastor Mikey insists there's no such thing as a "biblical contradiction" and we're all idiots (including the Jesuits) for saying so and even providing the evidence. We say Mikey is in deep denial, and maybe even being strapped down and administered electric shock therapy might not be enough to get his neurons back in order.
Let's return again to the definition in Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary:
“Contradiction”:
Direct opposition between things compared, inconsistency. That which is inconsistent involves involves variance, discrepancy or even contradiction, especially from the point of view of truth, reason, or logic.
Got that, Mikey? Or do I need to spell it out letter by letter for you?
Now as to reconciling the contradictory passages, I still maintain as I did before that this CAN be done, but ONLY if one adopts a non-literalist approach. Yes, the writers used differing colloquial terms of the period, and maybe even there were “copyist errors” to account for differences.. BUT IF either is true the bible’s words CANNOT be taken literally but must be re-interpreted, e.g. in light of the jargon or word forms of the time, or to reckon in the copyist errors!
Biblical literalists of the Mikey ilk basically want to have their cake and eat it. They want to claim the bible is “inerrant” and can be read “as is” – literally - but then they want to also claim the “contradictions” aren’t real or have to be parsed in the context of what the writers really meant. (In other words it can’t be read “as is”) They don’t understand they can’t have it BOTH ways! Either the bible is inerrant and stands alone without the need to interpret the differing passages, OR it can only be read in the spirit (docetic context) of the book and interpretations are a natural part of it.
So, now we give more contradictions:
1. Did John the Baptist recognize Jesus after his baptism?
(a) Yes (John 1:32, 33)
(b) No (Matthew 11:2)
2. Did Judas kiss Jesus?
(a) Yes (Matthew 26:48-50)
(b) No. Judas could not get close enough to Jesus to kiss him (John 18:3-12)
3. Did Jesus bear his own cross?
(a) Yes (John 19:17)
(b) No (Matthew 27:31-32)
4. Where was Jesus at the sixth hour on the day of the crucifixion?
(a) On the cross (Mark 15:23)
(b) In Pilate’s court (John 19:14)
5. Did Jesus die before the curtain of the temple was torn?
(a) Yes(Matthew 27:50-5 1;MarklS:37-38)
(b) No. After the curtain was torn (Luke 23:45-46)
6. The gospels say that two thieves were crucified along with Jesus. Did both thieves mock Jesus?
(a) Yes (Mark 15:32)
(b) No. One of them mocked Jesus, the other defended Jesus (Luke 23:43)
7. How did Judas die?
(a) After he threw the money into the temple he went away and hanged himself (Matthew 27:5)
(b) After he bought the field with the price of his evil deed he fell headlong and burst open in the middle and all his bowels gushed out (Acts 1:18)
8. Is one who is very moral and charitable, but who does not believe in God’s son, saved?
(a) YES (Mt 19:16-17, 25:34-40,46; Mk 10:17-21; Lu 10:25-37, 18:18-22; John 5:28-29, 8:51; Ro 2:5-7,10; Jas 2:24)
(b) NO (Mk 16:16; John 3:18,36, 8:21-25, 14:6; Ac 4:10-12; 1Jo 5:12)
9. When Jesus met Jairus was Jairus’ daughter already dead?
(a) Yes. Matthew 9:18 quotes him as saying, “My daughter has just died.”
(b) No. Mark 5:23 quotes him as saying, “My little daughter is at the point of death.”
10. Did Herod think that Jesus was John the Baptist?
(a) Yes (Matthew 14:2; Mark 6:16)
(b) No (Luke 9:9)
11. Jesus rode into Jerusalem on how many animals?
(a) One - a colt (Mark 11:7; cf Luke 19:3 5). “And they brought the colt to Jesus and threw their garments on it; and he sat upon it.”
(b) Two - a colt and an ass (Matthew 21:7). “They brought the ass and the colt and put their garments on them and he sat thereon.”
12. Was John the Baptist Elijah who was to come?
(a) Yes (Matthew II: 14, 17:10-13)
(b) No(John 1:19-21)
13.. Will everyone get saved?
(a) YES John 12:32; Ro 5:18, 11:32; 1Co 15:22; Col 1:20; 1Ti 2:4,6; 1Jo 2:2
(b) NO (Mt 7:13-14; Lu 13:23-24)
14. Are unsaved sinners eternally tormented?
(a) YES (Isa 33:14; Mt 13:40-42, 25:41,46; Mk 9:43-48; Jude 6-7; Re 14:10-11)
(b) NO (Eze 18:4; Mt 7:13, 10:28; Lu 13:3,5; John 3:15-16; Ac 3:23; 1Co 15:18; 2Th 2:10; Heb 10:39; 2Pe 3:7,9)
15. Can the righteous expect to thrive or perish?
Thrive: Ps.92:12: "The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree."
Perish: Isa.57:1: "The righteous perisheth, and no man layeth it to heart."
16. What exactly were Jesus' last words?
Matt.27:46,50: "And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, "Eli, eli, lama sabachthani?" that is to say,"My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?"
OR
John19:30: "When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, "It is finished:" and he bowed his head, and gave upthe ghost."
Note that NONE of these entails “minor differences”. Whether everyone will be saved or not, or whether John the Baptist recognized Jesus before or after his baptism is certainly not “minor”, neither is whether Jesus carried his own cross – both strike at the heart of a putative scriptural or biblical- alleged historical claim.
Yes, the biblical literalists will yelp and boo-hoo hoo accusing nonbelievers or atheists of making pacts with “Satan” to undermine their pseudo faith. In fact, we aim for nothing so perverse or grandiose, only to make the bible thumpers admit their book cannot be read literally, only in the spirit of what it says. Once they concede that, we’ll leave them to their pet fantasies.
Of course, because the literalists don’t operate in normal, rational space-time, it is quite probable that they will find some specious excuse to write-off all the above major contradictions, instead of admit their great book is useless and ahistorical!
What is incredible about the Bible (KJV or other) is not its "divine" authorship! It's that such a farrago of contradictory nonsense could be believed by anyone with even a 2-digit IQ to have been written by an omniscient god. To do so, one would first have to not read the book, which is the practice of most Christians; or, if one does read it, dump in the trash can one's rational intelligence -- to become a fool for god, in other words. To be an Atheist, one need only be able to laugh when such obvious nonsense is offered as being "divine" truth.
Let's return again to the definition in Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary:
“Contradiction”:
Direct opposition between things compared, inconsistency. That which is inconsistent involves involves variance, discrepancy or even contradiction, especially from the point of view of truth, reason, or logic.
Got that, Mikey? Or do I need to spell it out letter by letter for you?
Now as to reconciling the contradictory passages, I still maintain as I did before that this CAN be done, but ONLY if one adopts a non-literalist approach. Yes, the writers used differing colloquial terms of the period, and maybe even there were “copyist errors” to account for differences.. BUT IF either is true the bible’s words CANNOT be taken literally but must be re-interpreted, e.g. in light of the jargon or word forms of the time, or to reckon in the copyist errors!
Biblical literalists of the Mikey ilk basically want to have their cake and eat it. They want to claim the bible is “inerrant” and can be read “as is” – literally - but then they want to also claim the “contradictions” aren’t real or have to be parsed in the context of what the writers really meant. (In other words it can’t be read “as is”) They don’t understand they can’t have it BOTH ways! Either the bible is inerrant and stands alone without the need to interpret the differing passages, OR it can only be read in the spirit (docetic context) of the book and interpretations are a natural part of it.
So, now we give more contradictions:
1. Did John the Baptist recognize Jesus after his baptism?
(a) Yes (John 1:32, 33)
(b) No (Matthew 11:2)
2. Did Judas kiss Jesus?
(a) Yes (Matthew 26:48-50)
(b) No. Judas could not get close enough to Jesus to kiss him (John 18:3-12)
3. Did Jesus bear his own cross?
(a) Yes (John 19:17)
(b) No (Matthew 27:31-32)
4. Where was Jesus at the sixth hour on the day of the crucifixion?
(a) On the cross (Mark 15:23)
(b) In Pilate’s court (John 19:14)
5. Did Jesus die before the curtain of the temple was torn?
(a) Yes(Matthew 27:50-5 1;MarklS:37-38)
(b) No. After the curtain was torn (Luke 23:45-46)
6. The gospels say that two thieves were crucified along with Jesus. Did both thieves mock Jesus?
(a) Yes (Mark 15:32)
(b) No. One of them mocked Jesus, the other defended Jesus (Luke 23:43)
7. How did Judas die?
(a) After he threw the money into the temple he went away and hanged himself (Matthew 27:5)
(b) After he bought the field with the price of his evil deed he fell headlong and burst open in the middle and all his bowels gushed out (Acts 1:18)
8. Is one who is very moral and charitable, but who does not believe in God’s son, saved?
(a) YES (Mt 19:16-17, 25:34-40,46; Mk 10:17-21; Lu 10:25-37, 18:18-22; John 5:28-29, 8:51; Ro 2:5-7,10; Jas 2:24)
(b) NO (Mk 16:16; John 3:18,36, 8:21-25, 14:6; Ac 4:10-12; 1Jo 5:12)
9. When Jesus met Jairus was Jairus’ daughter already dead?
(a) Yes. Matthew 9:18 quotes him as saying, “My daughter has just died.”
(b) No. Mark 5:23 quotes him as saying, “My little daughter is at the point of death.”
10. Did Herod think that Jesus was John the Baptist?
(a) Yes (Matthew 14:2; Mark 6:16)
(b) No (Luke 9:9)
11. Jesus rode into Jerusalem on how many animals?
(a) One - a colt (Mark 11:7; cf Luke 19:3 5). “And they brought the colt to Jesus and threw their garments on it; and he sat upon it.”
(b) Two - a colt and an ass (Matthew 21:7). “They brought the ass and the colt and put their garments on them and he sat thereon.”
12. Was John the Baptist Elijah who was to come?
(a) Yes (Matthew II: 14, 17:10-13)
(b) No(John 1:19-21)
13.. Will everyone get saved?
(a) YES John 12:32; Ro 5:18, 11:32; 1Co 15:22; Col 1:20; 1Ti 2:4,6; 1Jo 2:2
(b) NO (Mt 7:13-14; Lu 13:23-24)
14. Are unsaved sinners eternally tormented?
(a) YES (Isa 33:14; Mt 13:40-42, 25:41,46; Mk 9:43-48; Jude 6-7; Re 14:10-11)
(b) NO (Eze 18:4; Mt 7:13, 10:28; Lu 13:3,5; John 3:15-16; Ac 3:23; 1Co 15:18; 2Th 2:10; Heb 10:39; 2Pe 3:7,9)
15. Can the righteous expect to thrive or perish?
Thrive: Ps.92:12: "The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree."
Perish: Isa.57:1: "The righteous perisheth, and no man layeth it to heart."
16. What exactly were Jesus' last words?
Matt.27:46,50: "And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, "Eli, eli, lama sabachthani?" that is to say,"My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?"
OR
John19:30: "When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, "It is finished:" and he bowed his head, and gave upthe ghost."
Note that NONE of these entails “minor differences”. Whether everyone will be saved or not, or whether John the Baptist recognized Jesus before or after his baptism is certainly not “minor”, neither is whether Jesus carried his own cross – both strike at the heart of a putative scriptural or biblical- alleged historical claim.
Yes, the biblical literalists will yelp and boo-hoo hoo accusing nonbelievers or atheists of making pacts with “Satan” to undermine their pseudo faith. In fact, we aim for nothing so perverse or grandiose, only to make the bible thumpers admit their book cannot be read literally, only in the spirit of what it says. Once they concede that, we’ll leave them to their pet fantasies.
Of course, because the literalists don’t operate in normal, rational space-time, it is quite probable that they will find some specious excuse to write-off all the above major contradictions, instead of admit their great book is useless and ahistorical!
What is incredible about the Bible (KJV or other) is not its "divine" authorship! It's that such a farrago of contradictory nonsense could be believed by anyone with even a 2-digit IQ to have been written by an omniscient god. To do so, one would first have to not read the book, which is the practice of most Christians; or, if one does read it, dump in the trash can one's rational intelligence -- to become a fool for god, in other words. To be an Atheist, one need only be able to laugh when such obvious nonsense is offered as being "divine" truth.
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